Letters To My Love

I wish I was stronger in my youth. I wish I knew more. I wish I was exposed to women who followed their heart. I didn’t have those role models growing up, and I grew up feeling like love had to be earned by being right, being perfect. I worried more about what others would think or how they would judge me. I am still plagued by the shame of being myself. Feeling what I feel. Wanting what I want. It’s hard for me to ask for the things that I truly want from others. I fear being abandoned and judged. I wish I was having your child. I wish I could melt into your arms. I wish you would show up at my door. I never needed you to save me, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t wish you would. I’m homesick for you, I’ve been searching for something to replace or compare to what I feel, and I always end up dreaming on your eyes and the way they look right through to my soul. I don’t have walls when it comes to you. I’m defenseless. I don’t know how to not love you. You’re part of me.

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